Ask Amy: Practice Reward Can Derail Friendship – Life-style – Pittsburg Morning Solar.
Dear Amy, About eight years ago I gave my 4 year old godson a train for Christmas. He enjoyed it and we played with it for several years. He finally topped it.
He is now 12 years old. Recently he discovered the train in the closet. He wanted to sell it in order to get money to buy some AirPods, which cost about what he could get for the train set. With the help of his parents, he put it online, sold it, and got the AirPods.
I think that's great! I believe that once you've given a gift, it's what you want and I don't mind.
The problem is, my four year old wife disagrees. She finds it extremely rude of my godson and his parents to sell a personal gift I gave him for Christmas without at least asking me about it.
I told my wife that I honestly don't care, although it would have been nice for her to tell me they would.
I worry that my wife will tell my godson's parents something about this (she stated she will).
We often make contact with them (they are one of the few in our pandemic circle). I don't want her to make you feel harsh.
Not only that, when it comes down to it, I should be on the side of my friends because I agree with them, which leads to my wife being mad at me, or my wife's side even though I disagree, just to create a more harmonious home? – In a dilemma
Dear Sir or Madam, I have an idea: How about if your wife keeps her thoughts to herself and thus ensures both a solid friendship and a harmonious home?
This is the essence of none of their business. Your relationship with your godson precedes your relationship with your wife. It's separate from your wife. You have the right to conduct your relationship with the boy as you wish. I also agree with your attitude towards the gift. It wasn't a family heirloom. It was recycled and now another kid will like it.
If your wife has the gall to bring this to the boy's parents in your presence, you should say to her, "Well, I totally disagree with you, as I made clear when we discussed this before. If I do give a gift, I believe the person receiving it should do what they want with it. "
If your wife wants a harmonious home, then maybe she shouldn't judge and confront friends about her parenting or judge your godparents harshly.
And because this is a godchildren question, I will delete a favorite admonition from the Bible: "Be a happy giver!" You did and good for yourself.
Dear Amy, I have only one living sibling. She spent most of our adult years manipulating our mother into getting more than her share of money, jewelry, family antiques, and sometimes resorting to lies and even theft. She seldom called me, never visited, and left me with the lion's share of care for the elderly.
Now she is lonely, her marriage is at stake, and her children are estranged or troubled.
I invited her to visit twice, but found her unchanged. She's still selfish and devious.
Now she wants to move here and join my close circle of friends and family. "Family first" was my credo, but I don't feel it for them.
How can i say no – Worried
Dear Concerned, You can't stop your sister from moving to town, but you can definitely try to prepare her for reality by saying, "I hope you understand that moving is probably not the solution for yours Will be problems. I'm not ready to meet. " Your needs. "
If this sister is a master manipulator and border crosser, you will have to work hard to set and often reinforce boundaries. Add the word "no" to your vocabulary and be ready to use it.
Dear Amy, Was it really necessary for you to quote bigoted and misguided racists who referred to themselves as "white Christians"? If they were Christians and had read the Bible, they would know that Christ looks at the heart, not the color of skin. – Disappointed
Dear disappointed, I thought it was important that these people reveal themselves.
I might be wrong, but I don't think there are white people in the Bible.